Why Embrace Difficulties

by Kelvin Belfon


“Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”    ~ M. Scott Peck


There is no such thing as a perfect life. In this life we’ll experience highs and lows. On some days things will go as planned and some days, we may be hostilely blindsided and spun around in a whirlwind of chaos and injury.

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why me?” You were the nice person. You did everything right and even played by the rules. All the same, trouble came knocking on your door.

It happens. It’s all part of our journey. No one is immune to life’s vicissitudes. Trouble comes to us all. It’s not a matter of if it will happen, but in most cases when.

Trials can invoke the worst in us at times. The stress can cause anger, blame, self-criticism, complaints and even withdrawal from others. It’s no fun.

Still, our difficulties are not the adversary. Their arrival isn’t always to punish the person experiencing them. Bad things do happen to seemingly good people!

A natural human response to the discomforts of life is to try to avoid or run away from our problems. But the more we avoid, sometimes, is the more the issues force themselves upon us. It’s inevitable.

There’s no way that I can even pretend to come up with something formulaic to ease the pain either. At any rate, I haven’t discovered yet a consistently effective and healthy remedy for hard times in my own life. But what I’ve found is that we can change our perception of and reaction to them.

We don’t need to see trials as evils; but we can choose to use them as a catalyst for personal maturity and character development. The season you’re in may very well still be pretty painful; but I can say for certain that a perspective change helps to move us from fighting the process, which only makes things worse, and toward accepting the journey, which leads to maturity.


How Can Difficulties Help?

  • They create opportunities to solve problems. Our aptitude, skills and creativity can be unleashed to resolve the most improbable challenges. Unearth the diamonds that exist within each challenge.
  • They bring perspective. We can gain insight and wisdom from our current plight that will help solve future challenges.
  • They reveal our values and priorities. When our world is shaken up, we learn to value and prioritize the important people, things and experiences in life.
  • They help us minimize. In the same way, when faced with challenges we learn to discard the non-essential to survive it all in the end.
  • They help us discover our strengths. Problems build endurance and perseverance to keep us going when we feel like giving up.
  • They bring humility. Our troubles are a reminder of our frailty and dependence on others.
  • They confirm our relationships. Friendships are tested when things go wrong.

Accept the difficulties of life. They are only seasonal, created not to last. Don’t give up! Make the necessary adjustments. Learn what you can for the future. This is all part and parcel of the uncomplicated lifestyle.

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14 thoughts on “Why Embrace Difficulties

  1. Ron Miaskiewicz says:

    I look at difficulties as opportunities! The first thing to come to grips with is that there are bumps in the road! My wife and I have been married for 46 years! We have weathered many storms, each making our marriage stronger. Too many marriages fail or people loose jobs because they become ducks instead of Eagles! You see duck quack when faced with challenge or adversity, while Eagles soar and rise to the challenge!
    When faced with difficulties, we can complain or even display anger or work together and form a solution! If we want success in life, we need to stop quacking like ducks and SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE!

    • Kelvin Belfon says:

      Congratulations on 46 year Ron. That’s amazing!
      You are right too…we can use our difficulties are opportunities.
      Keep soaring sir!

  2. Gillian Claudia Johnson-Baptiste says:

    Thank you yet again Kelvin for words of divine wisdom .

  3. Calla says:

    When you said it’s not a matter of, but when….did you ever hit the nail on the head. Excellent insight as to these experiences as helping us grow. Growth is hard to remember while in the midst of a difficulty, for me it takes some distance for me to see any positive impacts.

    Very good reminder!
    Keep up the good work & reminding me the true lessons of life!

  4. Christy King says:

    So true. My experience has been that – in hindsight anyway – something good has come out of every significant bad experience and many tiny ones as well (missing a turn yesterday meant we saw a doe with her two fawns, for instance).

    • Kelvin Belfon says:

      You are right. In most instances, we learn the lessons “in hindsight.” Though I may know better, I can’t see the lesson in the midst of the storm. I usually want to fight, complain or just scream for justice.
      But in each time, I grow and learn something new.

  5. Idaliz Good says:

    Gracias! Hoy prescisamente necesitaba leer estas palabras de vida. Eres un buen escritor! Excito! El cielo es el limite.

  6. Very good article. Although you put it in another category other than inspiring, I found it inspiring nonetheless. You listed many points to identify with when one goes through difficulties and also great points to look at to see what we gain by embracing them. Thanks for sharing a different perspective – I know most of us fall into the “why me” category too often.

    • Kelvin Belfon says:

      Thank you Barbra!
      You are an expert on the subject. You’ve probably counsel hundreds on the “why me?” topic.
      So like always, I appreciate the positive comment.

  7. Terri says:

    YEs, yes, yes, yes, yes!!! I think the most difficult time in my life was my divorce. And now that I look back, I see that the day that I began to embrace it, and not think of myself as just awful, awful, awful, but that I had a choice on how to react to things, was the turning point in my life. I realized you have a choice on how you relate to things. I see others react to things or trials, whether it be at work or at home, in a very negative way. They seem to let it overtake them. And then it starts to effect the way they react to other events in their life. It’s like a huge snowball rolling downhill.

    They don’t realize yet that they can choose how to react to things. I’m not saying I’m a pollyanna – some things really do suck in life, but you do have a choice in how to embrace difficulties. You as a person are not powerless and everything does not happen TO you.

    As you can tell, I’m binge reading your blog this morning. 🙂

    • Kelvin Belfon says:

      Powerful stuff Terri.
      You are right on. “You as a person are not powerless and everything does not happen TO you.”
      I have no idea of the things you went through during the divorce. But I do know one thing…you are one strong woman who’s not afraid to follow her dream. Keep moving forward!

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